Wednesday 23 April 2014

BITTER, SWEET F.A. SYMPATHY






I went walking today which was unfortunately around the time that the local college kids were out in force. These little bastards have no respect for anyone, let alone old geezers like me. They walk on the footpaths (pavements) four or five abreast and are totally oblivious to anyone else. I noticed that other pedestrians had to move out of the way, sometimes stepping onto the road to accommodate them I don't appreciate bullying in any form and don't like rudeness so .....I decided to join them by being rude and a bully.

 I held a line in my walk but unlike the guy in the Verve video above I kindly kept to one side of the footpath (pavement) leaving ample room for people coming in the opposite direction in ones, twos or threes. If they were in fours or fives then somebody had to give way and it wasn't going to be me.

 In the 150 metres to the corner I collided with three groups. The first, a group of four girls busily chatting came straight towards me. I held a line and - boomph - shoulder bumped one of the girls on the end of their row who had made no effort to move out of the way. She got a big surprise and said 'sorry' which is more of an automatic response from Canadians (they are famous for saying sorry, than anything meaningful and sincere.


 The next group were boys, four of them and once again the guy on the end got it. He was aware of me but kept coming on so I dropped and slightly put forward my shoulder which he got in his chest - 'oomph' was what I heard not 'sorry'.


 The third group of five were girls. The one coming directly at me was talking on a cellphone. We collided which given the relative differences in our sizes was like Jonah Lomu running over Mike Catt.


 Was I sorry?

No way.

3 comments:

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

Love it.

When you come back to Godzone, do you want a job as a relief teacher at Nuova Lazio high School?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

That's kind, give me a moment to think about it .................................................................................
........... um, I think I'll take a job dismantling landmines in Cambodia. It's safer.

Richard (of RBB) said...

Ha Ha!