Saturday 28 April 2012

CONVOLVULUS




Convolvulus  is a genus of about 200 species of flowering plants in the bindweed family Convolvulaceae, with acosmopolitan distribution. Common names include bindweed and morning glory, both names shared with other closely related genera.


They are annual or perennial herbaceous vines,  bines and (a few species of) woody  shrubs, growing to 0.3-3 m tall. The leaves are spirally arranged, and the flowers trumpet-shaped, mostly white or pink, but blue, violet, purple or yellow in some species.
Many of the species are problematic weeds, which can swamp other more valuable plants by climbing over them, but some are also deliberately grown for their attractive flowers. However, some other species are globally threatened.
This species occurs in many temperate regions. They are mostly slender, creeping winding vines. A few are small perennials. They have simple, alternate leaves and wide funnel-shaped flowers.
Convolvulus species are used as food plants by the larvae of some Lepidoptera species including the leaf-miner Bucculatrix cantabricella (feeds exclusively on Convolvulus cantabricus), Bedillia annuligera (recorded on Convolvulus arvensis), Bedellia somnulentella and Orthonama obstipata (The Gem).

- Wikipedia


That may well be but an observant look at the name of this pest suggests that it is a c**t of a plant.
I can see 'con' and a suggestion of 'vulva' here.

'Con' when searching Google with safe search on suggests:
  • Confidence trick, also known as con, scam, or flim flam 
  • Convict, as in ex-con, a person who has been convicted of a crime 
  • Convicted felon, a person who has been convicted of a felony crime in a court of law 
  • Commonwealth of Nations, an association of primarily former British colonies

but with safe search off reveals: 
The general meaning of this phrase is "you idiot", but it is an extremely offensive insult in French."con" = "c*nt", and any insult is rendered worse in French by putting "espèce de" in front of it.

'Vulva' well,we're all grown-ups here we know what that is.

As much as TSB would wish it I will leave out images in this case.

Well this Convolvulus is bloody well taking over our garden. It is an invasive climbing weed that attaches itself to every other growing thing and can travel for miles (it originated from our neighbour's garden and obviously from further afield). It winds its way up flax stems, trees, bushes and plants and also snakes its way across lawns and even pathways.


Like Ginger Plant-  Kahili ginger (Hedychium gardnerianum) this c**t strangles everything around it and is very hard to get rid of. At first it seems easy. It rips out and you feel good at having accomplished something but in reality it is only letting you think that. The real roots are well embedded and will continue to spread after you have gone.

The person who imported this into the country is a real 'Con'

11 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Steady on Comeinyourpants!
Deep breaths.

Twisted Scottish Bastard said...

It's almost as bad as gorse.

What's wrong with my taste in imagages? They're all (almost)perfectly respectable.

I recommend the use of copious amounts of the trusty Glyphosate

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Thanks TSB.
I'll go for the 680gm version and Nuke the bastards!

Oh!

You were suggesting that I use the Glyphosate on the convolvulus and not on myself?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Just then, typing 'convolvulus' and rrealising the inherent traps in this word I felt relieved that Second Fiddle won't comment because he'll never get it right.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Hell!

I just thought "Second Fiddle will try and type this and get it all dangerously wrong. We'll be closed down. All of us. We're dommed. Doomed!

THE CURMUDGEON said...

E&OE. (on previous two comments)

I blame the Chardonnay - Esk Valley 2011 Chardonnay - $9.99 from Countdown (normally a lot more). Bloody good at this price and next time on special I'll buy a case or two and put aside for 12 months)

Richard (of RBB) said...

Pissed again?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Hi Richard.
Yes, almost.
No wine the last couple of nights so I felt I deserved some.
Chardonnay but The Old Girl decided to have some. She switched to Pinot Noir though leaving me with the dregs of the Chardonnay and a hankering for something else. Not Pinot Noir. I'll keep you posted.

Kiwi Aid said...

may I comment? If you put some round- up in a small balloon, cut a thick stem, attach filled balloon with rubber band and let stem systematically suck it up.... c**t will shrivel up and die. Off course you'll need lots of patience and many balloons :-)

Robert and the Catholics said...

Convilusussus... so there!

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Thanks Kiwi Aid. I'll give that a go.
Cheers.